Sleepless nights

So utterly tired of trying to get some rest. Sleep will never come. Even worse my mind won't stop thinking! The bloody reason to why I feel so upset tonight. Not only do i feel like my relationship is falling apart. I feel like he just might be talking to someone else. As awful as it may sound. There was always something about him that just wasn't right. Till this day it bugs me! How can a person not remember there past? When I first started dating him I wanted to get to know him better. I wanted to know what kind of person he was and what made him who is now, but nothing... He gave me shit. He told me that he doesn't remember the past. Not even the girls he dated. WTF?! How can u not remember people you once loved. Sorry, I'm a very forgetful person, but I still remember shit like that. What he said to me sounded like big ass sweaty bull shit! This was just the beginning tho... I let it slide. Buy now that things are going down hill, I can't help but to start thinking about his past. What was he hiding? Is he a bloody cheater? Or Was it the crazy scary ass bad temper he attacked me with a few times? Or the lies he tells? Or maybe it was how much he likes to keep to himself and everything is likes god dam secrete. Doesn't like to share shit! I mean, seriously, what kind of relationship is this? Almost 3 years and nothing has changed. I know, I know, why do I bother? Right? My friends would say " hello leave him! Why are you wasting you time! Your not getting younger! Well my dear friends.... Just like life, it's just not that easy! I just needed to vent right now and I know that this post probably makes no sense. I'm going to try to go to bed again. Good night Internet world.